i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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