i don't like sucking hair
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
