the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
