on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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