doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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