sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
