are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
