First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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