i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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