im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
