I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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