remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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