The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
