her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize