it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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