I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
