She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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