So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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