So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize