there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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