Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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