Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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