Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
