i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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