i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
