Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
