I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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