butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
