Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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