Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
