Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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