I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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