420 ftw
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
