SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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