I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
