Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
