I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
