Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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