Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
