It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
