He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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