honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
