Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
