the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
