Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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