Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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