if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
