yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
