I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I came so hard my ears popped.
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