i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
