clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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