The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
