my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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