how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
