Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
