She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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