My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
